My Birthday

Originally posted on June 27, 2010

Today (well yesterday, June 26th) was my birthday. I turned 32 and didn’t feel a single day older. But the reality is that I am older. Now that I am firmly in my 30’s (30 and 31 weren’t?), I feel more of my youth slipping away. I don’t mean that in a physical sense (although that’s true). I mean it more in a responsibility, adult sort of way.

Nothing has made me feel more like an adult than having kids of my own. Now, I’m a teacher, so I’m around kids all the time, but I haven’t been the one “responsible” for them. And by that I mean, if one of my old band kids were to be arrested for some heinous crime; then on some program like 20/20 or Primetime Live they did a story on him and psycho-analyzed him; they wouldn’t suggest that the reason he’d turned out so bad was because of his high school band director.

No. These are MY kids. As they grow up, people will judge the job of parenting I’ve done based on how my own kids act. That, and all of the day-to-day of raising kids (“Don’t put that in your mouth!,” “Grant, put that down!,” “You guys need to get hug each other and say ‘sorry.’”) has made me grow up the most. 

And you know what? I’m really okay with it. When I think about my high school or college years, I always wanted what was next. In high school, I wanted to graduate and go to college. In college, I couldn’t wait to get out and teach. In my second year of teaching, I wanted to go right back to college! After that, marriage. Beyond that, kids. 

I’m okay with that because life is good. When I look to the future, I don’t want it to come. I’m enjoying my beautiful wife and kids NOW. I love tickling my kids NOW. I love hearing about how their day went NOW. What’s in the future? Well, not exactly that.

My timer just went off (I only give myself a few minutes to write blog entries, or I’m likely to ramble on. You’re welcome.). So, I will close with this: There’s a Rush song called “Time Stand Still.” I never really “got” that song in my youth. It seemed like something an adult would say. But,  it’s a pretty good look at where I am in life now. And where I am now is adulthood. And I’m totally okay with that.